I remember my first crush like it was yesterday…I was 6 years old (I started young lol), and she was my best friend, Lexi. I never felt that sense of guilt or shame that some people in the LGBT community say they experienced due to walking outside the normal constrictions of modern society, but I did know I was different.

And to me different was ok. It made me stand out, it made me -special", even if others choose to view my -differentness" as a bad thing, it was somehow always very safe for me to not be who people thought I should be, or do what people said I should do as a socially -normal" girl.  It was both liberating and uplifting to know that I was (and am), the mistress of my own domain!

My name is Amber and I am a bisexual. I first joined this forum as a way to satisfy my urge to volunteer and give back to the community, but I also wouldn't mind meeting other like minded people.  There's several facets to who I am and what makes me -me", although I'm sure that feeling isn't anything unique or proprietary.  I love that everyone I meet is different, and in their own ways, special, and I love how this community just totally owns their own -differentness".  It helps me as an individual to broaden my horizons and learn new and fascinating things everyday I am blessed enough to walk this big green earth. It is a shining example of how happy people could be, if they can come to terms with who they really are and choose to live their lives in ways that make them happy. I have a personal theory that EVERYONE is at least a little gay. It's natural, and Freud even argued that bisexuality is the most natural of states for human sexuality, because it balances out male and female energies, and promotes that inner personal balance that most of us strive to achieve. I believe that, I really, really do. It makes sense when you think about it. Not that I would ever judge or condemn anyone for their way of life, but this theory hits a personal note for me as well. Maybe that makes me biased…? Or maybe it makes me right (and by me, of course, I mean not me, but Freud).

I'm hoping to be a regular poster/writer here, and to do some local outreach and volunteer work/activism work, so I feel the best way to start is by telling you all a little about myself. I am a 26 year old who lives in Visalia . I have 2 perfect kids, Jeremy, 7, and Stella, 3 months.  I am married to a guy I met in middle school. We've known each other since we were 13 years old, but only reconnected a few years ago via MySpace (I know, I know, I'm a total geek. And trust me, my nerdtasticness doesn't end there!).  I own a business, White Lotus Cosmetic Co (www.whitelotuscosmetics.com) where I hand make everything from natural, organic and recycled materials. Currently, I have a line of mineral makeup, soy candles, bath fizzies, jewelry and perfumes are coming out soon.  It's my baby, my pet, my American dream. I hope to open my store in the next couple of months (*crosses fingers*).  I have a plethora of hobbies, most of which are uber geeky, like reading. I read everything about everything, but I especially love anything pertaining to chemistry, physics and Ancient Egypt.  (I told you my geeky-ness was deep seated…you probably didn't think it was so bad though, did ya?) I am totally obsessed with Hoop Dancing, and Fire Hooping. It's great exercise and it centers me in ways nothing else really does. I love creative things. Creativity=Sanity=Happy Amber. I paint, write, and sing. I love anything having to do with foreign language, and at this point in my life, I can totally own being a geek! I guess it just suits me.

I am utterly addicted to tattoos. I don't sleep enough. I try to be superwoman and pull off this balancing act between home, work, play and now, activism and volunteering, but I love my life and wouldn't change a thing about it. 

I'm complicated, confusing and probably not even close to who many people perceive me to be. But at least I come with general guidelines/basic instructions. Here are the highlights:  

I am epileptic. It's due to a head injury where I was hit in the head with a rock by some jack ass that tried to hit the chick behind me and missed. (I guess he thought more of his pitching abilities than he should have!) 2. I'm a constantly evolving, perfectly contained hot mess. I usually have several projects going on, but under the circumstances, I hold up quite well. This is the one major trait I can only hope to pass along to my kids. 3. While not overtly religious, I do consider myself very spiritual.  If I HAD to put a label on it, I most closely identify with being Buddhist, even though I'm white. 4. I am bi-lingual; I speak fluent Spanish even though my family is Swedish and Scottish. I'm the only bilingual one in my immediate family.  5. I will always speak my mind with no regrets, even if there are occasionally consequences. So if you're easily offended or overly sensitive, you may wanna stop reading my posts now…6. I believe in Murphy's Law, but I also believe in good karma. 7. I don't eat meat. It grosses me out. 8. I'm super laid back and easy going, but if you push the wrong button, you will lose appendages. 9. I'm not shy about anything. I can often be found at home in just underwear. Naked sometimes happens. It's best to just get used to it. 10. In my private life, I have a sailor mouth that would make sailors look like Jesus. 11. You can placate me easily with chocolate, candy or vodka & insert misc drinkable liquid here _____

And there you have it! Basic instructions for your local Amber. (Small parts included, not intended for children under 18…)

I hope this article has been informative, and I hope to be returning to the forums soon, writing about things that concern you. (Yes, YOU!) So if anyone has ideas or suggestions for a future piece, please let me know. If you have a hot tip on a good story, tell me! Hearing from you all is the only real way to connect with this community and to keep coming back for more. 

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Comments (1)

• 2010-02-25 04:14:00 | Brooke

  Can't wait to hear more from you Amber, welcome!!

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